Disclaimer We do not endorse tobacco use. This page is preserved for its cultural and comedic value from 1995. That said — if you're going to do it, you might as well do it right.
Hold the can between the thumb and the middle finger of your preferred hand. Lay your index finger on top of the can and shake hard — like you're trying to snap your fingers, so your index finger snaps down onto the lid. Be careful the can doesn't open, or chewing tobacco will be spread all over the place.
Take a small amount of the dip (there should be about 20–30 portions in one can) and put it in your mouth. To be exact: put it between your lower lip and teeth. Hold it there until you spit it out again.
DO NOT SWALLOW ANYTHING.
This is the most important rule. Don't swallow the dip, your spit, or your tongue! NOTHING at all. Whatever is in your mouth and what you want to get rid of, spit it in the cup. (If you put a bit of water in the cup first, the result doesn't look as disgusting and the cup will be easier to clean afterwards.)
Press the juice out of the dip by squeezing your lips against your teeth. Remember — don't swallow. If you've got too much fluid in your mouth, spit it out.
Sit down. Start the classical music, then switch to Metallica's "One." Relax. Try to hold the dip inside at least until these two songs are over, but get rid of it if you're beginning to feel bad.
Believe me, you do not want to experience what happens if you hold the dip too long! It's not nice, and you'll feel sick as hell for a looong time.